Stuff I Didn't Need To Know

     I mentioned in a Facebook post yesterday how american and chinese babies sound differently when they cry and how it's just one more thing I didn't need to know. I figured I should spend a moment going over some of the other useless information I have clogging up my brain. Conflict (a blog story) will continue this afternoon.
     Originally this post was called "Crap I Didn't Need To Know", but because it had the word crap in the title Facebook would not post it to the public. It went to my wall and you could only see it if you went there. When did crap become such a naughty word and exactly whose sensibilities are we trying to protect here? My grandmother doesn't read my blog. Even if she did, crap was her second favorite word in the english language after scotch. Whatever...

Algebra - Not once in my adult life have I been asked to figure for Y. Anyone who saw my freshman high school grades knew I was not going to do anything later in life that required more than the most basic math proficieny. This madness should have stopped after the first trimester.

Most History - Famous quote, "He who does not know the past is doomed to repeat it." I don't know who said it because it doesn't matter. Sure, some of it is interesting, but I do not forsee another crisis like the Hapsburg Succession coming around again so I have no need to avoid it. Then again, I doubt anyone would ask for my advice on geopolitical affairs anyways.

French - It's a soon to be dead language. In the future we will all speak a Chinese-English-Spanish hybrid called Espachenglish that will have 40 different words for burrito but none for overtime. Besides, I can't afford to go there.

Dissection - None of this was necessary. It was naked cruelty to ask any child to cut an animal open and dig around. Maybe, if you were planning to be a vet or a doctor. Otherwise, the only other purpose I can think of is to find out which of your peers was most likely to be a serial killer/sociopath. For God's sake, it was just gross. I threw up a little writing this.

Anything Kardashian - This goes for any and all fame whores who clog or lives with their semi reality based shows. I like big butts and I cannot lie (Thank you Sir Mix-a-lot), but the last thing I need is to hear some whiny overexposed rich people complain about the trivial bullshit that dominates their lives. It just makes the rest of us as shallow and vapid as they are by watching it. I threw up a little writing this.

Conflict (a blog story) 2

     As the boys navigated their teenage years Derrick became more and more unpredictable. By high school he had begun using drugs and drinking, sometimes with his mother, sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. His penchant for violence cost him much more than he made. People avoided him. His wanton vandalism kept him in the constant gaze of school administrators and police. Judy always rushed to his defense and to the psychologist he was ordered to see he was honest when he claimed to have no idea why he did the things he did.
     Derrick took to crime before the age of ten, breaking into houses to see what was inside. Eventually, he began to loot these houses for drugs, money, alcohol, and anything of value. Jonah’s job was to watch for trouble, but it was not a partnership. Jonah was just used to doing what was asked of him. Judy knew what her son was up to and did not care so long as she got her cut. Derrick would display his bounty on the kitchen table and he and Judy would divide the proceeds.
     He began to notice girls early on. His temperament though was unpredictable and kindness would often turn to cruelty. He didn’t care how they cried because he knew there would always be someone else and there always was. A mother could have taught him the proper way to treat women, but Judy was as enamored of Derrick as the little girls he toyed with.
     Judy had become desperate in the face of her approaching middle age. No longer able to rely on her looks to secure the things she needed from men, she clung tighter and tighter to the sorry few foolish enough to stay. Eventually, they too would run and this made her lean even heavier on Derrick as her sole confidant. When she couldn’t dance, she waited tables, and when she lost that she looked for the easy dollar. Derrick was her protégé and partner.
     Jonah in turn had become more steady and self-reliant. He no longer needed to watch Judy and Derrick act out their pantomime of madness. He was content with himself. He could focus, which in many ways made up for his deficiencies. He did well in the school’s remedial programs. He was never late, always polite, and always gave his best effort. He was not outgoing, but he had friends.

Conflict (a blog story) 1

     Jonah and Derrick were born thirteen months apart to Judy McInnis. The boys shared their mother’s last name because she was never sure who the fathers were. They lived in a small house on the outskirts of a small city in a neighborhood that may have been beautiful when it was new, but by now had become overgrown and neglected.

     Jonah was the oldest. Born with a thick batch of brown hair, he was large for his age, but docile and rarely ever cried. He would lie quietly in his crib watching Judy intently. Wherever she went his eyes would follow.

     Derrick was blonde, premature, and colicky. When he screamed it seemed to be as much out of anger as it was need. When he raged Judy would come running and as she tried to calm him down a bond formed between the two that did not exist with Jonah. Judy talked incessantly to Derrick while she carried him around. She shared every detail of her life with him and although he could not understand it explains why Derrick began speaking long before Jonah ever muttered a word.

     It was taken for granted that Jonah was slow and a doctor confirmed the suspicion before he attended his first day of school. He was not retarded, but try as he might he would always struggle to keep up with his peers. For his own benefit, he did not start school until a year after he was eligible so that he brother could attend with him and provide him the support he was deemed to need.

      Derrick, on the other hand, was sharp. Aggressive by nature and curious to a fault, he took pleasure out of blurring the lines of acceptable behavior. He would often con the other children of whatever he wanted and then once caught he reveled in the art of talking his way out of it. He bullied and swore on the playground all throughout grade school. Even Jonah was a target when there was no one else to harass. Although short and wire thin, Derrick was fearless. His classmates were wise to befriend him to avoid becoming victims themselves.
      Home was much of the same for the boys. Derrick was the center of attention, reciting his acts of guile while Judy ate up his exploits and at times seemed to encourage them. Jonah sat alone on the couch, silent. He did not read or play or watch television. He quietly observed the back and forth between Judy and Derrick as if it was some great drama unfolding before his eyes.
     For her part, Judy rarely spoke to Jonah except to tell him to get ready for school or dinner or bed. It was shameful, but Jonah never asked for much. Also, Derrick took up so much of her time. Then again, some effort should have been made, but that is in hindsight and in that moment Judy saw nothing wrong in how she raised her sons.

Conflict (a blog story) Introduction

     I am enjoying this blog thing. It is an excellent vehicle for documenting my ideas and keeping track of my musings. I was thinking the other day, what more could I do with this? I decided to write a story, a long story, that I can share as I put it together.

      The plan is that each day I will write, a little or a lot, and link it to my facebook. I am calling the story Conflict. Each update will be numbered so if you miss one day you can always go back to where you left off. I have an outline, but I have no idea how long this is going to take.

     The main character is Jonah, a simple man without ulterior motives. The title for the story comes from the realization that once I came up with Jonah I had to have an obstacle for him to overcome. The conflict he faces is based in the relationship he has with his brother Derrick. Without giving too much away, the premise is a twist on the Cain and Able story.

     The first installment is tomorrow. Happy reading!

Deeper Things: The Meaning of Life

     It’s been a week since my last post. I have all these great subjects I want to cover, but this one I had a little trouble with. It is not that I was having some trouble defining what the meaning of life it is, rather it is because I did not want to come across as too scientific, too dry. Essentially, Deeper Things are supposed to be opinion pieces.
     The meaning of life is not what you think it is. We all fall prey to the romantic notions of nature. It is too easy to be captivated by her beauty. She fills up our senses, sight, smell, touch, and taste. We think she is here to love us and we are here to love her in return. Her true purpose is much less glamorous than that.
     The world consists of reactive and non-reactive elements. The goal of every reactive element is to become a non-reactive element either through bonding with other elements or atomic decay. This is the engine of life. Bonding elements create peptides that become amino acids that become proteins that become bacteria that create life as we know it.
     Everything is designed to harness and use the energy of these reactive elements to create a stable waste product. The goal of every creature is to eat, poop, and procreate. Procreation, at it’s most basic level, is cell division and the result of an abundance of food. The success of a species is based on it’s ability to exploit the resources around it and create more creatures like it.
     The romantic ideal that nature has a balance is a myth. All creatures, either plant or animal, are in a life and death struggle to conquer their environments, to pillage them of all their natural resources. Grasses in the field will rob the ground of sustenance and leave it fallow. Rabbits in Australia, without any reliable predators, ate all the grasses and breed themselves until they created a famine. It’s in the history books. Look it up.
     Evolution is about creating the perfect beast. Humans are just the latest design. While we idealize a life lived as hobbits in hillside furrows eating organic vegetables, we were built to make apple computers and drink soda out of aluminum cans. We may be smart enough to realize that our success as a species will lead to our eventual demise, but the die was cast the moment we stood upright. It is why we are here. It is why nature made us in the first place. It is the meaning of life.

Deeper Things: The Universe And Eveything In It

     Sometimes, I like to close my eyes and imagine that I can feel the spinning earth, a thousand miles an hour counter clockwise, hurtling through space. I am awed by the vastness of space and humbled in my own insignificance when compared to it. Scientific theory and conjecture can go a long ways towards explaining the universe, but in the end there is always one crucial question that mankind has no answer for. Why is any of it here?
     Why are there trees? Why is there dirt? Why are there stars in the night sky? The how is simple deductive reasoning. The what can be discerned from experimental observation. Why any of it exists in the first place is the mystery.
     Even the most scientific mind would be tempted to evoke the word God to explain the unexplainable, but that only leads to more questions. Even the creator of the universe is going to have his own creation story. How was God made? Trying to follow that line of logic is like following Alice down the rabbit hole.
     Our ability to think abstractly has allowed us to form insights on virtually everything. The big bang theory states that all matter at one time was compressed into a ball so small it could fit on the head of the pin and then do to some unexplained phenomenon became unstable and exploded forth creating everything we see then today. This is plausible enough. Life forms can evolve and exist on planets that meet a very specific set of criteria. It is undeniable. All matter consists of atoms containing basic components. This is scientific fact. We even have concepts (quantum mechanics, super string theory) that break down the universe to its very smallest pieces and explain what matter it is and how it works.
     It was while reading about anti-matter that I had an epiphany. There is so much anti-matter spread out through the vastness of space that is in exact and equal contrast to all existing matter. They are, in fact, two halves of the same coin and would cancel each other out if ever combined, thus creating a barren universe. It occurred to me that the secret of the universe may be that it exists as a juxtaposition to nothingness. As the concept of nothing is only understandable when compared to something then so the idea of existence is only made real by it’s opposite, non-existence. The answer to why is why not.
     It is no less baffling to say the stone under my foot is there because the idea of it not being there makes it a possibility, but it adds balance to the equation. The physical world is based upon the premise of balance, that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. It is only a theory, but it is beginning to make sense to me.

Deeper Things: Intro

     It’s 2012 and according to the Mayan calendar the world is going to end in twelve months. I find it curious that they could predict an apocalypse a thousand years in the future and not the gringo invasion just around the corner. I’m not saying they’re wrong about our imminent demise, but if they had such great fortune telling skills the topic of whitey should have come up.
     Anyways, I figure this is as good a time as any to delve into some of the more serious subjects that rattle around inside my brain. As I mentioned in my first blog post, it’s not always going to be funny. No one is funny all the time. If they were they’d be insufferable. Two hours of Robin Williams stand up is fine. After week I’d be tonguing the inside of a light socket just to make it stop.
     The truth is, I am often overwhelmed by the big questions of life and how to make sense of it all. I am sure everyone else is too, but we know to keep some things to ourselves. We compartmentalize our core beliefs so we can get along in the world. You do not discuss the theory of quantum mechanics and its affect on creation mythology while standing in line at Starbucks. It is important to focus on the here and now when engaged in social discourse. Most philosophical conversations are ones that you are going to have with yourself. The guy in the tin foil hat standing on the sidewalk outside of Starbucks is someone who has not yet figured that out.
     Over the next few days I plan on addressing many of these issues in this blog. Each day I will tackle a different subject. I have been on this planet for awhile now and I think it is important that I write out what I have learned so far. My intention is not to preach or convert anyone to anything so try to not take offense. I just want to share. By the way, if you’re expecting some weird conspiratorial ramblings you will be disappointed. The CIA stopped infecting my brain waves years ago.